Most of us were raised hearing this children’s rhyme from our parents, “Sticks and Stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” To toughen us up for life? To numb us from our feelings? We all know how painful words are. Sometimes, words can leave lasting scars and can be as crippling as physical blows. Phooey to the psychologists who say, “emotionally healthy adults are comfortable with hatred and anger, their own and others.” What planet were they raised on?
Words do count. Kind words lift you up; mean words bring you down.
I’m writing this for two reasons: 1) I have gotten so many kind and wonderful comments from readers I don’t know, who did not have to take their precious time to say kind, encouraging words but they did. I don’t need research studies to “know” that kind words make you feel better and less than kind words can make you feel sad or hurt or angry or defensive. 2) the White House is having meetings today about cyber-bullying among students.
I have only gotten one (1) negative, rather mean, comment and it bothered me. Does this mean I’m not emotionally healthy or just that I’m human? I was hurt for a second then angry and with a knee jerk reaction wanted to write back some thing scathing. I didn’t but I also stopped writing for a couple days, temporarily doubting myself all because of one guy whom I don’t even know. Imagine how how these kids must feel who are under constant attack?
As a favor to yourself, if you don’t like what someone says or how someone writes, pause for a minute, take that deep calming breath. My dad had to remind me constantly, Think before you Speak.
If your words can hurt people you don’t know, think what they can do to the people you do know and care about but also what those words can do to you.
Back to The Golden Rule, the Brahman translation is, This is the sum of duty: Do naught unto others which would cause you pain if done to you. From Mahabharata 5:1517.
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