Tapping Into Possibilities

Archives for 2018

Regrets Only

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This post really has nothing to do with manners and everything to do with forgiveness

Or maybe it does.

Manners – a way in which a thing is done, a person’s outward bearing                                      or way of behaving towards others.

For some reason, this phrase, Regrets Only, has been haunting me, dogging me for months.

A few months ago I read a book, Before You Wake: Life Lessons from a Father to his Children, by Erick Erickson, who is considered by some to be the “most powerful conservative in America today” (The Atlantic), not someone I would typically read!

This is not a book review by any means but one paragraph has stuck with me, hence my obsession with Regrets Only.

“What I have learned about regret is we either control it or it controls us. What we do with regret is part of what makes us. We either learn lessons and move on or we let it weigh us down. Life is too short to hold on to things. It is too short not to forgive, because forgiving others means they can no longer control you. Life is too short to be buried by regrets. Learn the lessons from what you regret and move on. Appreciate what you have. Find the silver lining. Above all else, show others the grace and mercy they may not show you. There will be others who will never forgive. They will not forget. They will remind you and call you a hypocrite. But you must show them grace. It elevates you, and it is a reminder that we all do things we should not.” (p67)

Why is it so hard for some to say they’re sorry, to ask for forgiveness, to look for that silver lining (and yes, I know sometimes you have to look really, really hard), to let those regrets go, to move on?

I, for one, am choosing to let those old hurts and regrets go. Life really is too short.

“Forgiveness is the magnet which draws your endless good. It wipes clean the slate of the past to let you receive in the present.” Catherine Ponder

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

R.S.V.P or Regrets Only … Perhaps a Metaphor for Life

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My mother, Martha Wills, would have been 98 yesterday and even though she moved on 26 years ago, I still remember her so clearly saying on the day my first child was born, “Good manners are the best gift you can give your child.  They don’t cost you anything; it just as easy to say please or thank you or look a person in the eye as not too, but you get so much mileage from that.”

And though I hate to admit, that advice came over 40 years ago, it could not be more true today than it was then.

Manners – a way in which a thing is done, a person’s outward bearing                                                  or way of behaving towards others.

Whether it’s a firm handshake or looking someone in the eye, whether it’s a handwritten thank you note or a please or a thank you or an “I’m so grateful” or an  apology, wouldn’t you like to be on the receiving end? So is it really that hard to be on the giving end?

Respondez, s’il vous plait. Please respond. Yes, I know this is about responding to or regretting a social invitation but why not think about it in terms of how you choose to live your life, how you choose to interact, or not, with others.

If someone pushes your button, take a couple deep calming breaths and say silently to yourself:

Breathing in, I choose to Respond.  Breathing out, Not React.

More on Regrets Only next time but for now consider the Golden Rule from the Brahman/Hindu translation,

This is the sum of duty: Do naught unto others which would cause                                    you pain if done to you.         Mahabharata 5:1517.

 

Who’s in Charge? Owning Your Health

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Adelle Davis, nutritionist and author, and considered by many to be “the Mother of Nutrition”, wrote in 1947, yes, that’s 1947!

As I see it, everyday you do one of two things, build health or produce disease in yourself

Almost 20 years ago, long before Dr. Oz wrote his book You, The Owners Manual (2005), I took a work shop about owning your health and the lessons have stayed with me all these years.

Bottom line: You invest in a 401K or an IRA for your future financial health but what are you doing for your future physical health because what good is your money if you’re sick and miserable and in pain?

Ask yourself this question: What am I doing every day to build/maintain my health or to destroy it?

Think OWNERS

Oxygen (clean air/breathing properly)

Water (quantity/quality)

Nutrition (real food/eating organically, locally, seasonally even supplements)

Energy (exercise/movement/increase your vibration)

Relaxation (meditation/yoga/mind-body practices like Tai Chi)

S (sleep/stillness)

Some friends think I’m crazy for where I spend my time, energy and resources but I think Thomas Jefferson had it right in 1826 when he wrote,

Without health there is no happiness. An attention to health, then should take the place of every other object

 

A Drought, No Doubt, or Maybe Not

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Drought: 1) a period of dryness 2) an extended shortage

It has been almost exactly two, yes two, years since I posted here or even looked at this website for that matter.

I could come up with all sorts of excuses and reasons for the drought but, in fact, there is no blame to place.

While some may see this gap as a drought, I see it as a gift that I’m very grateful for.

I’m busy. I’m a multi-tasker. I’m a doer. But then I realized all that busyness was just a form of procrastination.

Procrastination: The act of postponing, delaying or putting off, especially out of habitual carelessness or laziness.

or Fear

Like I said, I’m a multi-tasker and always on the go. And then I found a gem of a book, called The Power of Receiving by Amanda Owen. I spent most of my time in what Amanda calls Active States. Persuading, Doing, Analyzing, Talking, Thinking, Evaluating, Controlling and the list goes on.

Sound familiar anyone?

“When you rely almost exclusively on activity, your will is overtaxed. There is no replenishment time. It’s easy to see this in the person who is constantly on the go. Eventually the body, emotions or the mind tend to rebel. The body may become sick, the emotions frazzled or the mind scattered. It’s like trying to keep a bunch of balls in the air all the time. It’s exhausting” (p31)

For the past two years, I’ve been spending as much time as I can learning about and being in Receptive States. Meditating, Allowing, Observing, Listening, Welcoming, Feeling Grateful. And of course, feeling feelings, those touchy feely, sometimes painful things that most of us try to ignore.

While the past two years may have been a drought of posts, they have been an oasis for me.

Oasis: 1) A fertile or green spot in a desert or wasteland, made so by the presence of water 2) A situation or place preserved from surrounding unpleasantness; a refuge: an oasis of serenity amid chaos.

It certainly has not been a drought of learning, writing, exploring, growing, changing and gratitude.