Tapping Into Possibilities

Tools in Your Toolbox

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I’ve been using this term for years to describe one’s approach to one’s health. I’ve written about how we need to have a number of choices and options whether it’s for stress relief (reading, writing, exercise, yoga, meditation, breathing) or for inflammation/pain relief (magnets, essential oils, arnica, frankincense, omega 3’s, tumeric, garlic).

I participated in a Social Media webinar recently for understanding the basic landscape of social networking for one’s professional needs (unfortunately I’m not ready to Twitter yet). The presenter spoke about building relationships off and online and that the various social media (Facebook, Linkedin, Twitter, etc) were just “tools in your toolbox”.

Is Tools in Your Toolbox now such an overused term that it’s lost its impact and value? I think not. I hope not.

The bottom line is we should never get too attached to one method/one way/one modality/one belief whether it’s for our health, our relationships, our business or for anything we care about.

The presenter used a great analogy. The reason we need a number of tools in that toolbox is that if we only have a screwdriver, it’s going to be difficult to hammer those nails or cut those wires.

If you only take a statin drug for your high cholesterol there are many other “tools” to consider such as diet or CoEnzymeQ10 or Omega 3’s. If you only take an SSRI for your depression, there are many other “tools” to consider such as B12, Vitamin D, magnesium, yoga or hypnosis.

If you think there is magic bullet, a single panacea, especially a chemical one,  to “cure” whatever ails you, think again.

(Panacea – remedy for all diseases, evils, or difficulties; a cure-all. From the Greek panakeia – all healing.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stillness Speaks

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Years ago someone gave me a deck of cards of quotes from Eckhart Tolle. They are from his first and less familiar book, Stillness Speaks (2003). The quotes are in categories such as Who You Truly Are, Silence & Stillness and my favorite and/or what I need the most depending on the day, Beyond the Thinking Mind.

While Echkart Tolle is often more deep, dense and difficult than my pedestrian mind can absorb, a few quotes actually make me chuckle such as

If you are in the habit of creating suffering for your self then you are probably creating suffering in others.

If this doesn’t remind you of yourself, then I’m almost positive there’s a family member who does, whom you might have even spent time with last week sharing a holiday meal with.

But back to why I bring these cards up….. Recently I was telling my husband how “weird” it is that I keep picking this one particular card. I then shuffle the deck 3 times, cut it twice then spread the cards out face down in a fan and lo and behold I pick the card AGAIN.

                              Mastery of Life is the opposite of control.

What are the odds out of a deck of 50 that I repeatedly pick that card one of every 7-10 times? And even weirder I pick it within minutes of talking about it? Coincidence? Chance? I’m not so sure.

Like physical pain, which is simply a message your body is telling you to pay attention to, I believe a repeated message like this is something to pay attention to.

As many things as I think I’ve released and let go of,  such as not always being a back seat driver or letting my teens “fly” and make some mistakes, clearly I am a work in progess.

Thich Nhat Hanh

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The other night I had the pleasure, no the honor, to hear Thich Nhat Hanh at the Warner Theatre in Washington DC.

As I’ve mentioned previously, “Thay”, as his students call him, is a Vietnamese Zen Buddhist monk. He was born in 1926 and was exiled from Vietnam in 1966 and founded Plum Village, a Buddhist community (sangha), in France. He is a poet, an author of over 100 books, a peace and human rights activist. He was nominated by Martin Luther King in 1967 for the Nobel Peace Prize.

His life’s mission has been to “ease suffering” through mindfulness, loving speech and deep listening.

For two hours this 85 year old man, spoke to a packed house that was so quiet, so engaged, that you could hear a pin drop.

Thay spent a great deal of time talking about the importance of “going home”, of learning to listen to our suffering inside. That touchy feely feelings stuff that most of us run away from.

He said, “We have to understand our own suffering in order to understand the suffering in the world.” And that” by understanding our own suffering it will enable us to cultivate compassion and understanding and that understanding and compassion – the healing energies – will heal and transform us and the world.”

Mindful breathing is the way “to come home”. The monks and the nuns at Plum Village have a bell on their computers that dings every 15 minutes to remind them to stop, to breathe mindfully and to remember they have a “body”.

                              Breathing In I am aware of my whole body.                                      

Breathing Out I know my body is truly alive.    

Pretty powerful stuff.

So what does all this have to do with Intentional Health?

“Keeping your body healthy is an expression of gratitude to the whole cosmos – the trees, the clouds, everything.” Thich Nhat Hanh, Touching Peace: Practicing the Art of Mindful Living.


Breathing In/Breathing Out

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Below is the first meditation technique I learned 10 years ago from a teacher in Arizona who attributed it to Thich Nhat Hanh, the exiled Vietnamese Buddhist monk, whom I had never heard of at the time.

I noticed almost immediately a difference in how my day unfolded, in how I reacted to stressors and in how I slept. I followed the requisite, “it takes 21 days to change a habit” and then continued on for years but the busier I became and the more hectic my mornings became, the easier it became to make excuses for not doing it.

But I did learn the folly of my ways and now a breathing practice, a meditation practice, a mindfulness practice or whatever you want to call it is right up there at the top of my “if you want to get healthy to do list”.

First thing every morning…… or anytime. Just Do It.

Sit in a quiet and comfortable place with your spine erect. Sit with arms and legs uncrossed. Close your eyes.

While inhaling (a deep diaphragmatic breath filling your abdomen) say to yourself, “I am ALIVE”. Even though you’re saying this non verbally, put a lilt/an emphasis on Alive).

While exhaling, say internally “SMILE” and physically SMILE.

Yes, it seems silly/weird/awkward to actually SMILE but don’t worry nobody’s looking. You only need to do this for 10 minutes. If you go longer great but no need to.

Since my initial introduction to “Thay’s” breathing technique, I’ve practiced many of his Breathing In/Breathing Out suggestions such as,

Breathing In I know I AM alive and fully in the here and now

Breathing Out I smile to the life in me and all around me

or the one I need to do more than once a day!

Breathing In I AM determined to practice deep listening

Breathing Out I AM determined to practice loving speech

This last one is a particularly good one to do before making a phone call or going in to a meeting or dealing with a wayward teenager!


 

 

 

 

 

 

A Drought, No Doubt, or Maybe Not

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Drought: 1) a period of dryness 2) an extended shortage

It has been four weeks since I’ve posted anything. I can’t blame clutter this time for the drought or anything else for that matter.

I’m busy. I’m a multi-tasker. I’m a doer and I love to write. So why the drought?

Something happened about five weeks ago but rather than blame something or someone, I want to thank Amanda Owen and her book, The Power of Receiving. This little gem of a book is worth its weight in gold if you’re stressed out or not getting what you want or deserve.

Like I said, I’m a multi-tasker and always on the go. What this means is I spend most of my time in what Amanda calls Active States. Persuading, Doing, Analyzing, Talking, Thinking, Evaluating, Controlling and the list goes on. Sound familiar anyone?

“When you rely almost exclusively on activity, your will is overtaxed. There is no replenishment time. It’s easy to see this in the person who is constantly on the go. Eventually the body, emotions or the mind tend to rebel. The body may become sick, the emotions frazzled or the mind scattered. It’s like trying to keep a bunch of balls in the air all the time. It’s exhausting” (p31)

For the past month, I’ve been spending as much time as I can in Receptive States. Meditating, Allowing, Observing, Listening, Welcoming, Feeling Grateful. And of course, feeling Feelings, those touchy feely, sometimes painful things that most of us try to ignore.

While this past month may be a drought of posts, it certainly has not been a drought of writing, exploring and gratitude and growth.

 

www.ThePowerofReceiving.com

 

 

 

Every Breath You Take…..

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Life begins with your first breathe and ends with your last.

Ideally, ideal breathing is an involuntary action. Just watch a baby breathe. The body knows how to breathe but then fear, stress and life get in the way and our voluntary muscles start messing it up.

Voluntary vs. Involuntary? When you’re asleep, breathing is involuntary. When you’re awake, breathing is still mostly involuntary but breathing is a muscle contraction that can be regulated by conscious thought.

While breathing is mostly involuntary, your breathing is nothing to take for granted. Breathe is the fuel of life. Your breathe carries oxygen to every cell, all 70 trillion of them. Breathing eliminates toxins and stresses.

Breath is a powerful tool that affects your state of mind and how you feel emotionally and physically.  It connects your mind, your body and your spirit.

Through our breath we are in relation with all life,  never separate from the Great Mystery”, Native American saying.

Many mystics and ancient cultures believe that breath is evidence of spirit and that working with breath is a spiritual practice. In many languages including Sanskrit, Greek, Latin and Hebrew, breath and spirit are the same word.

For breath is life and if you breathe well, you will live long on earth. Sanskrit Proverb

Why all the talk about proper breathing?

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Your most important tool to well being, to reducing stress, is your breath.

Breath helps us to communicate, to calm, to center, to circulate (not just oxygen but thoughts and insights). Like spirit and wind, breath is an invisible force.

“Breath deeply, breath consciously, for spirit is so near that you can’t see it” Rumi, 13th century Persian poet

How you breathe affects how you feel and your state of mind. It can be invigorating; it can be calming; it can bring clarity and done improperly (shallow chest breathing) can be a health hazard. We thrust our chin and neck forward especially while on the computer; we hold our breath; we stiffen our spine; we shrug our shoulders – all no no’s when it comes to healthy breathing.

We need to learn how to breathe “more slowly, more quietly, more deeply, and regularly,” says Dr. Andrew Weil.

Healthy breathing strengthens and improves the function of your diaphragm which will keep your spine flexible and your core strong.

How we breathe reflects the state of the nervous system and influences the state of the nervous system. The nervous system links the body to the brain and if you didn’t know, the brain (the cerebrum) is the master control center for absolutely everything (look forward to Nervous System 101 coming in the near future).

By consciously changing the depth and rhythm of your breathing you can change your blood pressure, your digestion, your circulation and your heart rate.

There are books and classes and cd’s too numerous to list on breathing but two of my favorites are The Breathing Book by Donna Farhi and the cd Breathing: The Master Key to Self Healing by Andrew Weil, M.D.

For some of my personal favorites breathing techniques keep reading.

Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor. Thich Nhat Hanh, Vietnamese Buddhist Monk

Breathing Techniques 101 – my personal favorites

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4-7-8 breath for relaxing courtesy of Andrew Weil, M.D.  You can do this anywhere and in any position but ideally and especially while learning you are sitting up with a straight spine. Place the tip of your tongue against the ridge of tissue just behind your upper front teeth, and keep it there through the entire exercise. You will be exhaling through your mouth around your tongue; try pursing your lips slightly if this seems awkward.

  1. Exhale completely through your mouth, making a whoosh sound.
  2. Close your mouth and inhale quietly through your nose to a mental count of four.
  3. Hold your breath for a count of seven.
  4. Exhale completely through your mouth, making a whoosh sound to a count of eight.
  5. This is one breath. Now inhale again and repeat the cycle three more times for a total of four breaths.

Exhalation takes twice as long as inhalation.

Pranayama The word pranayama comes from Sanskrit – prana means life force or breath and yama, restraint. Conscious breathing (pranayama) can have a dramatic effect on mood, depression, anxiety, and even insomnia.

One study found that severely depressed patients who practiced pranayama three times a week for 30 minutes a day over four weeks recovered as well as patients taking an antidepressant.

Alternate Nostril Breathing – Calms nerves and and balances left and right brain. A great technique to teach kids before test taking.

Close your right nostril with your thumb, and inhale through your left nostril for at least three counts: om one, om two, om three.

Closing the left nostril with your pinkie and ring fingers, hold the breath for three to six counts. Release the thumb, and exhales through your right nostril for six counts.

Inhale through the right nostril for at least three counts, close right nostril with thumb, and retain the breath for three to six counts.

Lift pinkie and ring fingers from left nostril, and exhale six counts. This constitutes one round. Continue for five to 10 rounds.

Bellows Breathing – Stimulating and boosts blood flow to the brain, improving mood.

Fold your arms across your stomach, hands in fists. Inhale quickly through your nose, and raise your arms above your head, palms open.

Exhale forcefully through your nose, bringing hands, arms, and gaze back down.

Do 20 fast, forceful breaths; rest for 30 seconds. Repeat for four minutes, resting between rounds.

Bumblebee Breath -or Humming Breath With this sensory deprivation technique you may feel your head hum but this helps reduce worry and is very relaxing.

Close your eyes using the top three fingers of each hand, place your pinkie fingers on the base of your nostrils, and use your thumbs to cover both openings of your ears.

Inhale a regular breath, and on exhalation make a humming sound, drawing it out as long as you can. Continue for two to eight minutes.


Slow Down

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I had the honor of knowing Marlin Smith Perkins and yes, I can say, she was my friend. In fact, she was everyone’s friend.

At the service earlier this week honoring her life, the poem below was in the program noted as one of her favorite readings. You may have seen it as it’s been circling the internet since 1999 as a plea (and hoax) from a (fictitious) dying girl. In fact, the poem is real, written more than 20 years ago by David L. Weatherford, a child psychologist from Tennessee.

Whatever the origin, for Marlin the message rang so true that her friends and family knew how important it was to her. In fact, it was how she lived her life.

Life is not a race. Do take it slower. Hear the music before the song is over.

I can not change all those lost moments with my family or my friends but I can change how I move forward. What better reason do you need to Stop, Look, Listen and Just Breathe?

Slow Dance

Have you ever watched kids on a merry-go-round?

Or listened to the rain slapping on the ground

Ever followed a butterfly’s erratic flight?

Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?

You better slow down. Don’t dance so fast. Time is short. The music won’t last.

Do you run through each day on the fly?

When you ask, “How are you?” Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done do you lie in your bed with the next hundred chores running though your head?

You’d better slow down. Don’t dance so fast. Time is short. The music won’t last.

Ever told your child, “We’ll do it tomorrow”? And in your haste, not seen the sorrow?

Ever lost touch, let a good friendship die ‘cause you never had time to call and say, “Hi”?

You’d better slow down. Don’t dance so fast. Time is short. The music won’t last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere, you miss half the fun of getting there.

When you worry and hurry through your day, it is like an unopened gift…thrown away.

Life is not a race. Do take it slower. Hear the music before the song is over.

Silence is Golden

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I had the pleasure and honor to participate in a silent retreat last weekend. Yes, silent. Yes, last weekend i.e. 48+ hours! One of my yoga teachers organized a retreat and boy was it a retreat in every sense of the word.

The Merriam-Webster dictionary definition of retreat includes: the forced or strategic withdrawl of an army, the act of withdrawing (as into safety or privacy, retirement or seclusion), a place of refuge, seclusion or privacy, a period of retirement for prayer, meditation or study.

The weekend was everything and more than the definition. Even “withdrawl of an army” applied to me. An army of chores, of projects, of “shoulds”.

When was the last time you had no caffeine, no cell phone, no computer, no TV, no food, no talking, no music, no books, no clocks for 48 hours? Believe me, it was a first for me on most every count.

So what do you do when you have no distractions to keep you running around all day? Yoga, breath work, meditation, writing, walking and a de-toxing juice fast with the most amazing array of fruits and vegetables.

The weekend was an opportunity to become aware of thoughts and feelings, to observe them and to even accept them. It was an opportunity to be still, to stop, to look, to listen, to give thanks.

The Am Kolel Retreat Center and Sanctuary in Bealesville MD is an old farm house with a labyrinth, acres of gardens, hiking trails and benches and chairs scattered inside and out to take pause. It was a perfect setting for a withdrawl of the senses (pratyahara).

What’s the takeaway from what must seem to some as total torture? Silence (and stillness) really is golden – a precious time that doesn’t need to be filled with idle chit chat and busyness.

The weekend was exhausting and exhilarating but more than anything the weekend reinforced my belief that carving out even 10 minutes of your day for quiet time for breath work or meditation may be the best thing you can do for your health and your mood.